Need I say more!
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Monday, 2 November 2009
The Reason for the Absence
Life has not been all hunky dory for me lately. Actually is been pretty darn (insert 4 letter word here). I've been allowing it to get to me, and was barely hanging on to my sanity by the tiniest thread. I was just waiting for our UK holiday to get away from the reality of my life for a while, when that too caved in on me. The British consulate denied my visa (for the most ridiculously stupid reasons). I had been hanging on to this holiday a little harder than I think I realized, and when it was rudely stripped from me, I went into a downward spiral. I honestly didn't care if I lived through another day. Thats how bad it was.
I was gutted about missing Abby's wedding. I was completely gutted that I wouldn't get time with one of the people in this world that knows me better than I know myself - Jenni. And, the way I saw it, my marriage really, really needed time away from computers, iphones, wii systems and anything related. I was also really excited for Mack to get to meet MY highschool friends, and get to see a side of me that he's never seen before. I was also really ready to go to a place where I understood the people, the food and the language. To me there was so much more riding on this trip than just a holiday.
Mack had already taken the 17 days off work, and the thought of spending that time at home looking after Taz while Mack ignored me to play his stupid video games, put me even further over the edge. I told him I needed to get away and go somewhere - anywhere, preferably some place warm, and that if we didn't get away and work on our relationship, I didn't see our marriage lasting through the end of the year. I was just so tired of playing second fiddle to a bunch of inanimate objects.
Luckily, my husband does love me, (he doesn't show it, but apparently he does love me), and he booked a trip for us to Hawaii. Its amazing what 7 nights and 8 days of sun and beach can do for a little girl from Cape Town.
I'll be honest, it wasn't the most amazing vacation I've ever taken, but it really helped. I spent alot of time looking after Tamsine while Mack snorkeled or played games on his iphone. But, being so close to the ocean again, smelling the salt in the air, the warmth of the sun on my face, hearing my little girls giggles as she ran into the water, and the gentle ebb and flow of the waves, seemed to help calm my anxieties and release alot of the tension that had been building in me. And eventually Mack realized that my idea of relaxing and his idea of relaxing are two completely different things, and bending over holding Tamsine while she frolicked in the water wasn't exactly the best thing for my fractured back. So, he eventually allowed me some time to just lie on the beach and read a book while he played with Munchkin in the waves. It was soothing for my soul.
And now we're back and things are better. And I'm ready to face life again.
I was gutted about missing Abby's wedding. I was completely gutted that I wouldn't get time with one of the people in this world that knows me better than I know myself - Jenni. And, the way I saw it, my marriage really, really needed time away from computers, iphones, wii systems and anything related. I was also really excited for Mack to get to meet MY highschool friends, and get to see a side of me that he's never seen before. I was also really ready to go to a place where I understood the people, the food and the language. To me there was so much more riding on this trip than just a holiday.
Mack had already taken the 17 days off work, and the thought of spending that time at home looking after Taz while Mack ignored me to play his stupid video games, put me even further over the edge. I told him I needed to get away and go somewhere - anywhere, preferably some place warm, and that if we didn't get away and work on our relationship, I didn't see our marriage lasting through the end of the year. I was just so tired of playing second fiddle to a bunch of inanimate objects.
Luckily, my husband does love me, (he doesn't show it, but apparently he does love me), and he booked a trip for us to Hawaii. Its amazing what 7 nights and 8 days of sun and beach can do for a little girl from Cape Town.
I'll be honest, it wasn't the most amazing vacation I've ever taken, but it really helped. I spent alot of time looking after Tamsine while Mack snorkeled or played games on his iphone. But, being so close to the ocean again, smelling the salt in the air, the warmth of the sun on my face, hearing my little girls giggles as she ran into the water, and the gentle ebb and flow of the waves, seemed to help calm my anxieties and release alot of the tension that had been building in me. And eventually Mack realized that my idea of relaxing and his idea of relaxing are two completely different things, and bending over holding Tamsine while she frolicked in the water wasn't exactly the best thing for my fractured back. So, he eventually allowed me some time to just lie on the beach and read a book while he played with Munchkin in the waves. It was soothing for my soul.
And now we're back and things are better. And I'm ready to face life again.
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