Excerpts from a Letter

I wrote a very long letter to my brother Jeremy yesterday, and then realized that I didn't want to have to rewrite all the news, so here are a few excerpts from that letter:

..., my belly is getting big and I'm starting to look pregnant rather than just fat. On Thursday I will be six months along - can you believe it. As far as I know Tamsin is a strong healthy baby. She is already a daddy's girl though. I put my hand on my stomach and she just does exactly as she pleases. Mack puts his hand on my stomach and she moves to his hand. He can move it around and she follows his hand. If he wants to feel her kick, all he has to do is ask and she kicks on demand - do you think she'll do that for me - not a chance. Oh, and the doctor told me I would feel her doing somersaults and stuff, but I swear Mack taught her how to round house kick in the middle of the night, cause she puts Chuck Norris to shame with her movements. Luckily she knows when to go to sleep cause she leaves me alone at night.

I wish Phoebe would take a cue from little Taz. I never considered cats clever. Even Smooch (our childhood kitty)in all her glory was a cool cat and would converse with us and stuff, but she never did things that made me think her especially talented. Phoebe takes catdom to new heights. This cat has a brain (small as it is) and she uses it. I'm just grateful that my brain is bigger and I can use it better. So, we bought spray bottles to spray her cause she was waking us up at night. One spray from Mack and she never ventured to his side of the bed again. However, she has figured out that I am not exactly the crack shot that Mack is, so she comes and sits meerkat style next to my side of the bed and meows just loud enough to wake me. Then when I reach over for my bottle to spray her, she moves just out of my reach and sits and watches me as I try to hit her. If I get close to her she side steps the spray. Then when I get tired of trying to scare her away, I roll over and she comes back. If I by chance manage to wet her a little, she rubs her wet side on any exposed body part of mine. Last night though, she figured out where on my bedside table I keep the spray bottle, and before she woke me up, she knocked the bottle off the table and pulled it slightly under the bed, knowing that in my sleepiness I wouldn't be able to find it. Then she sat and I swear she laughed at me. Eventually I groped far enough under the bed and sprayed her (she was laughing too hard to move fast enough) and she ran out of the room. I had barely fallen asleep again when I heard her hide the bottle again. So, I had to move the bottle to a place she couldn't reach. Now I ask you, seriously, when did she develop the ability to reason and hide my spray bottle - the little bugger. She was still laughing at me when I got up this morning. I could see the sneaky smile in her eyes.